Breaking: Fanfiction Featuring Former Prime Minister Brian Mulroney and Quote: “Best Friends” Ronald Reagan and Margaret Thatcher Found Among Mulroney’s Personal Effects

Over the last year, a team made up of faculty from StFX’s little known archeology department has been meticulously combing through new evidence found after a minor windstorm knocked out the power for the entirety of northern Nova Scotia. This was accompanied by a slight tremor, and due to the “pragmatic” design philosophy of Mulroney building, caused several load bearing walls to collapse. Luckily for those interested in Canadian political history, albeit less so for the 48 students and staff crushed to death by the falling debris, a smaller wall on the 5th floor also collapsed, revealing a mysterious crypt, previously uncaptured by the inquisitive eyes of the public.

After weeks of excavating only revealed such trivialities as the former Prime Minister’s detailed list of investments in Mexican auto manufacturing and a full-sized poster of Quebec with a large “X” drawn over it, archeologists began to lose hope for any kind of meaningful discovery.

However, in their hour of greatest need, one plucky professor finally stumbled upon something of significance, a notebook labelled “Brian’s Diary (DON’T TOUCH!!!)” The diary appeared to contain plausibly true stories in which Ronald Reagan, Margaret Thatcher, and Brian Mulroney were the protagonists.

“Everyone said we were like three peas in a pod” was the opening line, read to us by Dr. Doug Diggemup, the professor who located the notebook.

Passages included adventures both whimsical and fantastic, but of which some may be criticized for what are colloquially known as “mary-sueisms.” A good many references to the strength of the three world leaders’ friendship were made across the diary. One excerpt read that the trio were:

“(L)ike Holmes and Watson and Lestrade.”

Literature experts from StFX’s English department have determined from context that Mulroney was referring to himself as Lestrade.

An excerpt describing the three of them working together at the United Nations read:

“We were a classic trio, like Bonnie and Clyde and Doug, and Doug was maybe even more important than Bonnie because he was the one taking all the pictures.”

Interestingly, several passages in the notebook look as if to be describing instances of slights Mulroney feels to have suffered at the hands of the other two, but what appears to be residue from dried tears renders these pages illegible. The words “birthday” and “forgot” are solely identifiable, but purely because of their frequency of use.

The implications of this notebook on Canadian political history may be dubious, but Dr. Diggemup is certain that within these pages lie the key to finally making Quebec “take the hint” and go away.