Cultivating Consent Culture

How do we rewrite the narrative of sexual violence in our communities?

"Smile and be nice." "Don’t overreact." "Don’t make a scene." "It’s just guys being guys." "He only picks on you because he like you." "Cover up." "You’re showing too much skin - it’s distracting." "He was just trying to be friendly." "You were pretty much asking for it."

As women, we’re constantly taught to remain idle in the face of sexual violence. Whether that’s through what we're told, media depicting violence as a gateway for sex, or simply the lack of recognition that sexual violence is a problem to begin with. Is it no surprise, then, that 1 in 4 women aged 15 to 24 will experience sexual violence? We’ve normalized sexual violence to such a degree that more often than not, women don’t feel comfortable or validated in coming forward - instead, they pass it off as “just a bad date,” or stay silent.

That is not okay.

On March 7, the Antigonish community came together to discuss what sexual violence looks like here in our community, and what we can do to change the narrative, and have an impact. Panelists Suzi Synishin, Sam Gan, and Katie MacDonald shared their research findings and experiences with the group - speaking to the normalization of sexual violence and the meaning of consent, the male perspective on leadership in consent culture, and sexual violence response in customer service positions respectively. Following the panel, the room was asked to answer two questions:

1. What does sexual violence look like in your community?
2. What needs to change? How can we make these changes happen?

Though the questions were discussed in a number of smaller groups, the answers of what sexual violence looks like all seemed to follow the same core idea:  sexual violence is simultaneously extremely pervasive, and invisible. The social repercussions facing victims prevent large numbers from speaking out, things like dick pics, revenge porn, and “kill counts” have become synonymous with teen and young adult culture, and university culture, as well, has become so intertwined with rape culture that it’s hard to tell where one ends and the other begins. On top of all of this, there is a general refusal to acknowledge that we have a problem.

So, what needs to change? How can we break the silence around sexual violence, and stop teaching our women to grin and bear it? We can start by teaching consent in our elementary and high schools - re-configuring Sex Ed to teach about healthy relationships, pleasure, and bodily autonomy - and integrating the conversation into every school, and every classroom. We can stand up and call out instances of toxic masculinity, harassment, and violence we witness every day, and turn to education to call people in.

Most importantly, however, in this fight, is that we not stay silent in the face of injustice. The actions above all came from this one conversation - but conversations like this one, when held as events or panels, attract the people who already care about these issues, and are already working to make change. For this conversation to be truly successful and sustainable, everyone has to be involved. So, keep on speaking out, speaking up, and being loud - ultimately, that is what will make a difference.

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Making it visible: why we made our sexualized violence issue

This issue focuses entirely on sexualized violence and the ways in which it pervades our campus, our community, and our culture. Timed to align with International Women’s Week, this issue’s publication has proven even timelier in light of last week’s acquittal of Halifax taxi driver Bassam Al-Rawi. Judge Gregory Lenehan’s ruling is yet another reminder of how far society is from taking sexualized violence seriously.

These sixteen pages feature testimonies, analyses, statistics, and news stories all pertaining to the prevalence and normalization of sexualized violence. We didn’t have to look far for these stories: even among our thirty-person news team, this theme hit close to home for many.

Society at large has seemed to accept sexualized violence as part and parcel of reality, and accordingly such behaviours remain invisible. Abuses of power, acts of harassment and violence, manipulation and silencing are normalized to the extent that it can be difficult to even label them as problematic. Experiences of violence are minimized (“are you sure you didn’t lead them on?”), and many who speak out are humiliated, repudiated, and silenced.

“We cannot afford to shy away from this conversation, no matter how uncomfortable it may be.”

Our tendency to conceive of sexualized violence as a clearly defined set of criminal charges further distorts our relationship with its underlying cultural causes. Sexual assault is a physical manifestation of a series of beliefs that have been culturally and socially constructed and accepted. Addressing cases of sexual assault and harassment is certainly challenging enough, but limiting the scope to these extreme demonstrations of entitlement is ultimately a disservice. We need to move beyond the ‘convenient’ lens of a stranger in the bushes and come to terms with the full complexity of the only violent crime in Canada that is not declining.

We cannot afford to shy away from this conversation, no matter how uncomfortable it may be. In assembling this issue, there have certainly been moments where we felt uncomfortable, whether by sharing personal experiences, learning something new, or by trying to deconstruct concepts such as hook-up culture, revictimization, “tradition” – the list goes on. These are hard questions to ask, and even harder questions to answer.

But rather than dismissing these matters due to a lack of clarity, we need to make a concerted effort to unpack the plurality of ways in which sexualized violence is reinforced in our society - through our legal systems, socialization, gender binaries, pop culture, heteronormativity, etc. – and address them directly.

When sexualized violence is so often made to be invisible, the first task at hand is to bring these elements to the fore, call them what they are, and make them visible. This is the central focus of our issue. We do not have all the answers, but we are intimately aware of the need to have these hard conversations.

We acknowledge the important work the university has done this year in establishing StFX’s first sexual violence policy, as well as the developments made by the Bringing in the Bystander program. Yet as the administration has done well to admit, the policy is only a first step. We still have a long way to go in shifting the narrative from one that normalizes and silences experiences of sexualized violence to one that does not tolerate the exploitation or violation of another person’s bodily integrity.

Our world is one where being sexually assaulted is either widely ignored or is considered shameful, where the victim/survivor is made to feel as though they did something wrong in being violated. How victim/survivors are made to feel is the foundation of the culture surrounding sexualized violence, and it is only once we fully address this fundamentally twisted stigma that we can start dismantling the remaining toxic mentalities that pervade our society.

The response to acts of sexualized violence must transition from shame and indifference to outrage, and this outrage must in turn be harnessed into action. While broad social change over time is ultimately required, it starts with speaking truth to power and being vigilant in rendering sexualized violence truly unacceptable through action as well as words.

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Sexual Violence Policy to launch this week

StFX's new Sexual Violence Policy is scheduled to launch the week of October 31st. It will not only provide a document where people can find information about resources and options available for victims/ survivors, but will also encourage victims to step forward.

The university felt the need to move forward with this policy as "sexual violence is one of the biggest issues of concern in society today, including on university and college campuses," according to Margie McKinnon, Director of Health, Counselling and Accessible Learning here at StFX.

Sexual assault on university campuses is a rising problem. Statistics show that among undergraduate students, 23.1% of females and 5.4% of males experience rape or sexual assault through physical force, violence, or incapacitation. Only 20% of female victims report their assault to law enforcement.

"The policy clearly outlines our response to both 'disclosures' and 'reports' of sexual violence involving students," says McKinnon. The policy also includes information and guidance for the people who are trying to support the students who have survived sexual violence. In addition to this, the policy ties in closely with the Community Code of Conduct, which outlines the University's process for responding to reports of sexual violence involving students.

The policy was approved by the President and the President's Council a few weeks ago and will be formally launched next week. In addition, McKinnon is hoping a lot of students will attend a screening of "The Hunting Ground" on Wednesday, November 2nd, which will be followed by a panel discussion/Q+A with the audience, members of the Sexual Violence Policy Implementation Committee, and student leaders. This will provide more clarity if there are any questions about the new Sexual Violence Policy.

The policy has taken many years and the hard work of many people to be enacted. Many different perspectives are being represented, including StFX students, staff and faculty members and community partners; it has been a hugely collaborative effort. McKinnon says, "Our campus is already engaged in many activities focused on preventing sexual violence, and now that our new policy has been approved we're looking forward to continuing this important work, through public education, bystander intervention, and a policy that will be a valuable resource for our community members."

It is important to stop sexual violence on campus and make sure each member of this community feels safe and respected; we must all work together to put an end to sexual violence at StFX.