Bombshell: Copy of Xaverian Weekly Open to Mark Mercer Article Spotted in the Background of Andy Hakin’s Presidential Portrait

What was originally an interesting piece of scandalous of gossip has now been corroborated with witness testimony.

One lazy evening over reading week a student who wishes to remain anonymous was browsing St.FX’s website, innocently looking for pictures of Dr. Szlachta to frame and put on his wall, when he found something that shook him to his very core. While perusing faculty profiles, a previously overlooked detail in Dr. Hakin’s profile picture caught his eye.

This is our interview with him.

“I thought I saw the familiar colour scheme of the Xaverian Weekly on his desk in the background” he explained wearily. “‘A supporter of student journalism!’ I exclaimed. Little did I know just how much what I found would reveal about our revered President.”

“Looking carefully, I managed to make out the words ‘facts’ and ‘feelings’ on the paper. Already I felt sick to my stomach. I would know that title anywhere. It haunts my every waking moment, although sleep offers no respite. It was the Mark Mercer article, but I shudder even saying his name.”

“Immediately, I called student services, something had to be done, but all I received over the line were inane platitudes. When I checked the website later that night, the picture was gone, like it was never there at all.”

“I didn’t know what to do. I contacted local media, but no one would believe me. I tried crying out from the street corners, but the management at Starbucks told me to stop loitering because I was making their customers feel uncomfortable. I was out of options and out of ideas. That led me to you.”

Quite frankly, we at the Xaverian Weekly were just as appalled as our unnamed hero was, so we got in touch with Dr. Hakin ourselves to set the record straight.

His statement was transcribed to the best of our ability below.

“Th' idea that ah wid ever read sic horrendous material is preposterous, 'n' th' implication that ah support free speech is equally sae, I don’t keek lik' a nazi, dae ah?”

We have determined that his position is unknowable.